Warren the Computer Geek's
Glossary

 

 

 


ALPHA GEEK: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.

ASSMOSIS:  The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss.

BIO BREAK: When humans need to use the bathroom.

BLOWING YOUR BUFFER:  Losing one's train of thought. Occurs when the person you are speaking with won't let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. "Damn, I just blew my buffer!"

DEINSTALLED: Euphemism for being fired. 

DORITO SYNDROME:  Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. "I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome."

FEATURE:  It's a Feature - From the adage "It's not a bug, it's a feature." Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant experience that you wish to gloss over.

GLAZING:  Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn't he notice that half the room was glazing by the second session?"

GRAYBAR LAND:  The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen). "I was in graybar land for what seemed like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering."

KEYBOARD PLAQUE:  The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards. "Are there any other terminals I can use? This one has a bad case of keyboard plaque."

OHNO-SECOND:  An OHNO second is that minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

SALMON DAY:  The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream, only to get screwed in the end.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

TOURISTS:  Those who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had about three serious students in the class; the rest were tourists."

RTFM:  Abbreviation for advice about reading the ... manual.

404:  Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him... he's 404, man."

 

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